Split Parents

Another recollection....

A few months ago, I was talking to Con. Well, I talk to him every day, but that wouldn't make this story as interesting.

Anyway, I was talking to Con and I mentioned that his mother painted his room before he was born. And he got a puzzled look on his face. And he asked innocently, "Mom used to live here with us?"

I was taken aback by multiple emotions. Surprise at first. Then sadness and relief.

His mother and I split when he was five. He was too young to understand fully what was going on with us as a family. So now for over half his life, his parents have not been together. He has never known what a "typical" family is really like. That really made me sad. My parents are still together, and my grandparents were together until they died. I grew up in a non-blended family, all my friends were from non-blended families, so I never knew what to think otherwise. I had no experience in that area. Being divorced was new territory for me.

And I'm not saying a blended family is any worse than otherwise, it's just not my experience. But he is not loved any less, that is for certain. We wanted to make sure he was loved as much as he could take. She may be my "ex" and we've had our differences, but we are still on the same page and like mind about Con. We didn't want him to suffer for our mistakes, and hopefully he hasn't. Only time will tell. He is a happy and content dude, so I think we're good.

The other emotion was relief. Silly as it sounds, I'm kind of glad he doesn't remember us being together. It might make it more difficult for him now that we are no longer. He sees us now as two separate people who happen to live in two different places. Not a family that was broken. Not having to explain how two people can stop loving each other.

As he gets older, he'll figure it out and understand it more. And his mother and I will be there with any help or answers he may have. We are united in that regard. It just hit me strange when he mentioned it. He is too good of a kid to be affected by that.